


If I Look In Your Eyes, I'll Want You To Hold Me

by you_are_a_saucy_boi



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Sissy, Lesbian Vanya Hargreeves, Modern Setting, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Sissy Doesn't Have A Son, Sissy Has Been Through Some Shit, Sissy Is A Functioning Adult, Sissy Is An Old Soul, Sissy Is Femme, Sissy POV, Sissy is a lot more well-adjusted in a world where she's young and doesn't have to marry a man, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Vanya Hargreeves-centric, Vanya Is Futch, but it's in third person dw, but she's figuring it all out and is pretty okay, i can't read fics in first person anymore, i love harlan he just wouldn't work with the fic, like fresh out of college kinda deal - at least for Vanya, not really any specific year but the fashion is 2020 queer fashion, the umbrella academy season 2, they're both in their very early 20s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25677694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/you_are_a_saucy_boi/pseuds/you_are_a_saucy_boi
Summary: Sissy wasn't one for bars but today had been a particularly bad day at the diner. She had come to The City to be an actress, believe it or not. She loved the elegance of it, the romance. And now she worked as a waitress in a classic American diner. Elegant her ass.The bar was warm compared to the dark outside and Sissy ordered a beer. To hell with elegance. She was tired. So was the girl next to her, by the looks of it. She had clearly already had a few, her words slurred and she looked on the verge of tears. Her whole body sagged."What's your name?" Sissy asked."Vanya. You?""Sissy."Vanya took another gulp of her drink. "Nice name. Nice everything. You're REALLY pretty, do you know that?"AU where Vanya and Sissy meet in the modern day while they're in their early 20s. Sissy helps Vanya through the fallout of her trauma and the discovery of her powers while they fall for each other, fast. Ft. adorable dates & Vanya getting therapy.
Relationships: Vanya Hargreeves/Sissy
Comments: 49
Kudos: 272





	If I Look In Your Eyes, I'll Want You To Hold Me

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah my tua hyperfixation ran out before i could finish chapter 2, sorry y’all. Notes at the end are from when i first published it, i might pick it back up later but don’t keep your hopes up or anything. most likely this’ll just stay as is.

Sissy wasn't one for bars but today had been a particularly bad day at the diner. She had come to The City to be an actress, believe it or not. She loved the elegance of it, the romance. And now she worked as a waitress in a classic American diner. Elegant her ass.

  
People were assholes, she had found. Which she already knew, being a sapphic woman from Texas. Hell, a career wasn't the only reason she was so far from home. As it turns out, Catholic parents don't react well to catching their Good Christian Daughter kissing a girl in a walmart parking lot. They really did pick _just the right time_ to get groceries, didn't they? Anyway, people were assholes and bachelorette parties could go to hell. _Who even went to a diner for a bachelorette party?_

The bar was warm compared to the dark outside and Sissy ordered a beer. To hell with elegance. She was tired. So was the girl next to her, by the looks of it. She had clearly already had a few, her words slurred and she looked on the verge of tears. Her whole body sagged.

"Hey there," Sissy said to her. "You don't look so good." She wasn't in the mood to be anything but blunt, she hoped a sweet smile would make up for it.

The girl looked her up and down before meeting Sissy's eyes. "Neither do you. What's up?" She asked, stammering a little.

"Loud party and disgusting men, how about you?" Sissy was sure her new friend's day had been far worse, the girl was drinking like there was no tomorrow.

"Jeez, where do I start? So much trauma, dude. _So much_. I don't know how the hell to deal with it, so, uh, beer." She nodded to her nearly empty glass.

"You wanna talk about it?" Sissy offered, taking a sip of her drink.

"You know what? Yeah, I do." The girl, who Sissy hadn't even got the name of, launched into a whole story of six siblings and a father who couldn't care less about her, separating her from the group. The whole thing sounded very abusive, Sissy could understand the alcohol. The girl needed therapy, that was for sure, ( _and her asshole father needed to go to prison_ ) but having just met her Sissy wasn't sure it was her place to say so.

".... and then I just... left. My brother, Diego, left first. And dad didn't even - didn't even notice. Or bring it up if he did. I guess I was waiting for permission because as soon as Diego left and nothing happened to him, I got the _hell_ out. I needed to know that I could before I did. I didn't want him - dad - to like- hunt me down or something. I wouldn't put it past him y'know?" Sissy did not know. In fact, the more this girl talked the more worried she got.

"What's your name?" Sissy asked, finally.

"Vanya. You?" 

"Sissy."

Vanya took another gulp of her drink. "Nice name. Nice everything. You're _really pretty_ do you know that?" This one, Sissy did know. She put a fair amount of effort into her appearence - when she wasn't in a waitress uniform - and she knew even without that effort she had looks. She was confident. That said, it was nice to hear it sometimes.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Yeah. And your voice," Vanya made some kind of incoherrant gesture for emphasis, "Your accent is so _warm_ , Sissy. Like- when you talk it _sounds_ like you're hugging me." Sissy chuckled. "Where are you from? Texas?"

"Texas."

"How is it over there?" Vanya asked conversationally, seeming to forget her plethora of trauma in favour of small talk.

"Well," _fuck it, she was tipsy enough to spill her own life story,_ "It's very homophobic. Which, um, doesn't work out well for me. Being gay. I don't really have much family left since I came out. I say came out, more like got caught. If I had it my way they would never have known and I would have settled down late in life with my **very good friend** after not being able to find the 'right man'."

Vanya paused for a minute, processing. "I never really had time to think about my sexuality. I haven't - ever dated anyone. Or spoken to anyone, really." she laughed bitterly "This is probably the longest conversation I've had since I left. And the most attention I've got in my whole life. Wow. _That is sad._ " She took a long sip from her drink. Sissy was getting a little worried about her intake.

"Well, I am honoured." Sissy smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little. "How about I walk you home, yeah?"

Vanya considered it for a moment before agreeing. She stood up, shakily, and leaned on Sissy as they walked. Sissy was glad she'd found the girl, Lord knows what would've happened if she had been on her own all night.

"You doin' okay there, darlin'?" Sissy asked her new friend. She was half-carrying Vanya by now.

"I don't wanna go home. It's so _sad_ there. Is _s_ too _grey_. I don't know why I haven't painted it something n- nicer." Vanya complained. "And I don't even FEEL the sad. Like I know it's there but it's just _not_. I haven'tfeltanythingin _YEARS_." The girl gestured widely and then frowned. 

"Okay, new plan." Sissy started, stopping short. "We go back to my place - it's very nice there if I say so myself - and you sleep in my bed while I sleep on the couch." It wasn't just Vanya's obvious distaste for her own home - Sissy wanted to keep an eye on the girl. She needed to know Vanya would be okay. The last thing that girl needed was to be on her own.

Vanya mumbled something in response and Sissy took it as a yes, switching directions and walking to her apartment.

She had made sure the apartment was as bright and colourful as possible when she moved in, with saturated walls and green houseplants. Fairy lights lined her walls with photgraphs of her and her friends back in Dallas displayed. And some nice paintings. She made sure to have at least one painting of girls kissing, now that she didn't have to hide. It always made her happy to look at. Her apartment looked lived-in, and it looked hers. It was home in a way her family's farm in Texas never had been. 

It was well past midnight when they got to Sissy's, she wasted no time getting Vanya out of her shoes and into Sissy's bed. How much of last night the girl would remember, Sissy couldn't say. The girl was hammered. _Poor thing._

* * *

  
When Vanya woke up, Sissy was in the kitchen part of the living space cooking eggs. Sissy liked eggs. Eggs were so easy. She looked over at Vanya, snooping around her apartment.

 _Nosey._ Sissy's lips quirked.

"Hey there, darlin'. How's your head?" Vanya gave her a pained look, which Sissy had expected. She filled a glass with water and set it on the counter. "Have a drink."

Vanya stopped for a minute, thinking hard. "Sissy!" she said finally. "Your name's Sissy, right?"

"That it is. How much do you remember? You weren't in the best state, there." Vanya walked over to the counter and sat on one of the stools, taking a sip of water before pausing to recall the previous night.

"Uhhhhh. I had a lot of beer, spilled my entire life story to you, you came out to me, offered to walk me home and then...." her eyes widened. "Did we..? We didn't-"

"We did not. You didn't wanna go home so I invited you here and you mumbled somethin' which I took as a yes." Vanya looked relieved. Sissy held out a plate for the girl to take. "Eggs?" 

"Thank you. And thank you for bringing me here." The girl shot her a small smile. Sissy realised this was the first one she'd seen from her and found herself hoping it wouldn't be the last.

"It's nothin', really. You seemed like you needed someone." Sissy tilted her head, trying to read Vanya. She took a good look at the girl - thick brown hair, a grey button up and grey jeans. For someone that complained about how sad grey was, Vanya really did surround herself with it. She looked like she didn't feel like she belonged anywhere, like no matter where you'd put her she'd be out of place. She really needed people.

"Well," Vanya chuckled lightly, "You're right there. I don't think I've properly spoken to anyone, well - _ever_."

Vanya was a lot more expressive when she was drunk, Sissy noted, but also a lot more sad. More bitter. Now, it was like she had accepted all her baggage and decided to keep carrying it around without complaint. Last night she had looked ready to toss it all off a bridge.

"You said as much yesterday. And it's not entirely true anymore, is it?" There was that smile again. It was always so small, like she didn't trust it. 

"I guess not."

They sat and ate in silent comfort of Sissy's home. Vanya kept looking around, taking it in.

"This is the most homely place I've ever set foot in. It's so weird noticing all your firsts that most people had when they were kids. This is the first home I've been in that I haven't lived in. I feel so robbed." At this point, Sissy was ready to scoop Vanya up and protect her from the world. She didn't deserve this. "Is it weird that I feel like a really old woman who's seen everything but also like I'm a little kid who knows absolutely nothing about the real world?"

"Trauma does that, darlin'. You're processing it now, it's gonna feel a little weird." Sissy had seen her fair share of people having to deal with everything they'd been through, and she'd had to process all her own issues. She knew the drill and she knew how unsettling it was.

"I didn't have the time in college." Vanya said, "I could just focus on studying and doing well but now I have time to breathe and I can't - handle it. Some days I can just focus on getting work done and making it to tomorrow but others I can't stop thinking about all the things I don't have or don't know. Like talking to people. I lived in a massive house with six other kids who never talked to me and none of us got to talk to anyone outside. I don't know how people are supposed to treat each other." 

"You're doin' a pretty good job of it so far." 

"Am I?" Vanya looked at her with such dulled, innocent eyes. Sissy nodded and smiled again, trying to be comforting. "I should get going, I teach violin lessons in," she checked her watch, "Just under an hour. What street are we on?"

"Speare St. Is that far?" Vanya shook her head.

"Nah, it's about a block away from mine. I should still get going though, I might not leave otherwise." She shot Sissy another one of those small smiles and found her shoes by the door.

"Hold on," Sissy said, grabbing a pen and paper, "Here.. is my number. Call me if you need someone to talk to, or if ya just want some company."

".... Thank you." Vanya looked genuinely grateful and Sissy knew she'd found a friend. They both had. She hoped Vanya would call her soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first ao3 fic and I'm kinda scared so please tell me how I did so far! Comments and kudos are appreciated :D
> 
> I'm hoping there are gonna be as many Vanya/Sissy fics as there were Klaus/Dave, especially since Vanya and Sissy got way more development. This is probably the first lesbian ship I've seen with the potential to be as popular as an mlm ship (at least in live action tv, can't say the same for cartoons especially with She-Ra and all) because of how popular the show is and how interesting and developed Vanya & Sissy are - I seriously hope it doesn't get wasted. So yeah, here's my stab at some lesbian fanfiction that isn't smut written by a man. Hope you enjoyed it :]


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